The Hex Hause was Fucking Haunted

Hex Hause rooms

Before I moved to Thailand I was living in a place called the Hex Hause. We named it that ourselves. It was a big ass three story Edwardian home with a back yard as big as the house itself. The living room was small and dark. The kitchen was big and sunny. There was a deck that wrapped around the back half of the house. The dirt driveway was shaded by a redwood and fit three cars. The parlour we turned into the largest bedroom. On the second floor we had two real bedrooms and a master bedroom that was split in two. The last four bedrooms were crammed into the attic closets. There were three bathrooms—one that had been converted from a hallway closet. That was everyone’s favorite because the tub was twice as deep as it should be and it had a little window that looked out into the neighbors yard. It felt like you were bathing inside a treehouse.

Hex Hause got its name because the place was fucking haunted. It had a narrow switchback staircase with a railing that only came up to your knees on the top flight. There was a ghost on the first landing by the built in bookshelves. Sonja’s boxer, Xela, would bark at the empty space when we were sitting in the living room smoking weed and watching Game of Thrones.

Our great protector

Our great protector

The next ghost was in our favorite bathroom. I never noticed it when I used the toilet, but when I got into the bath I had the distinct feeling that something was present and watching me. Eleanor and I concluded that this ghost was a perv. But we couldn’t blame him (we were sure it was a “he”). If I was dead I would have haunted that bathroom too. It was a sweet bathroom.

But the serious problem was in Eleanor’s room. When Will’s mother first walked into El’s third floor attic room after we had only been there a few days, she felt an intense and immediate presence there. For those of you that don’t know, Will’s mom is a fucking physic. This exacerbated Will when he was younger and doing lots of E and mushrooms because she always knew exactly what he was up to.

The first night Eleanor slept in her new room she saw shadows playing on the wall, but there was nothing outside the window that could have cast a shadow. Then several piles of luggage fell down at once. Fortunately, Eleanor was trained in shamanism during the year she lived in Portland. She got up and told the spirit that she recognized its presence and that she wanted it to leave.

It didn’t listen to her.

Ghost Room

The first night that Eleanor left to see her parents up North, Will and Ryan were on the first floor in Ryan’s room, getting high and listening to dub step all night and into the morning. They said they heard noises above them that sounded like furniture being dragged across the floor. They thought Sonja, who was on the second floor above them, was rearranging her room. But she was dead asleep all night. Eleanor’s room was right above hers.

One night Eleanor came down to the kitchen with a glum look on her face.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“My lamp is vibrating.”

Now, if you thought I was afraid of heights, you should know that the idea of ghosts scares me a shit ton more than climbing a rock face without a rope. It comes from a weird part of my Christian upbringing, where I was taught that spirits are all real but they are all agents of the devil. My aunt and my uncle on my mom’s side both have had positive experiences with ghosts, but my mom’s only experience was waking up screaming from nightmares and finding out the next morning she and my dad were camping on a Pawnee gravesite.

So naturally I freaked the fuck out.

“Would you like me to go up there and check it out?”

Will is an expert at this shit. He inherited his mother’s knack for the other-worldly.

“Would you?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Fever Witch with light

Fifteen minutes later Will came back into the kitchen.

“How did it go?”

“Well, I saw the lap shaking when I went up there, so I just told the spirit to show it’s presence to me.”

“And?”

“And the lamp started shaking a lot harder.”

“Holy shit.” That was me.

“Then I asked it to move on and leave this place and I felt a very strong resistance.”

“Wait, does that mean it’s not going to leave?”

“I think that it’s something that we can negotiate with and contain, but I don’t think it has any intention of going away.”

“No, there’s got to be a way to get it out. There’s gotta be someone, some expert that when can have go in there and deal with this.”

“It’s fine,” said Eleanor with a weary look on her face. “It’s not going to hurt anybody.”

Catcat guarding the door to Eleanor's room.

Catcat guarding the top of the stairs

But the weirdest thing of all had to be the writing on the walls of Trixie’s room. Trixie’s room wasn’t really a room. It was an attic triangle shaped closet with a sick window that looked out over all of Oakland. On both sides of the doors there were notes written carefully in pencil—dates and times. The dates covered five years, from 2005 to 2010. On the left side of the door all of the times were between ten and eleven pm. On the right side of the door they were all between three and four in the morning.

Next to the door frame on the right hand side was a short list written in the same penciled hand. It said: breathe, exercise, no demons.

When we called the landlord about it, he asked us if they were vanishing.

A week or two later Eleanor leaned out her bedroom and noticed three upside down crosses that had been drawn in ash on the side of the house.

Crosses

Eventually Will had the priest from his Episcopalian church come over and give a non-theistic blessing of each room in the house. We didn’t have any problems with ghosts after that.

Unfortunately her blessing didn’t work for me.

Photos by Sophia Alderman

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3 thoughts on “The Hex Hause was Fucking Haunted

  1. you are so great in describing and talking about the horror,ghostly and paranormal thing,why don’t you try something new i mean something creative something of your own,i could love to read some stuff 🙂

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